Naked & Inspired: Discovering Your Core Values for 2019

Hello, my natural beauties!

Happy New Year! Just like some daring souls like to strip down and take a Polar Plunge to wash away the past and start the new year clean, this month, we’re going to get naked!

Only metaphorically… for now. 😉

The start of a new year is a great time to recenter and refocus on the core of what is important to you. The real YOU. The real you that’s been hiding behind your career, the stress, the overcommitted schedule, the I’m too busy syndrome, the weight, the anxiety, the food, the dieting. Behind the anxiety, small talk and faux smiles, there is an authentic badass goddess — and it’s time for her to come out and play!

So to coax her out into the spotlight, we’re going back to our core values, the fundamental beliefs that dictate our behavior and serve as guideposts for our decisions. If you’re feeling unhappy and ready for a change, or if you’re feeling awesome but have some big, juicy plans for 2019, this week’s exercise is the best place to start.

So it’s time to get Naked & Inspired because I’m going to explain why you absolutely need to know your core values (or else) and how to re-discover what’s most important to you right ???? now ????.

I love this quote from Dr. John DeMartini, a world renowned specialist in human behavior, a researcher, author and global educator:

“Your life is demonstrating what your real values are. Any time you set a goal that doesn’t match those values, you’re automatically going to live with a moral dilemma. You’re going to beat yourself up. You’re going to wonder why it’s not happening. You’re going to be asking why you can’t stay focused. You’re going to be looking for outside authorities to motivate you. The key is to be congruent with your highest values, so you are setting goals that are congruent, so you confirm and achieve what you say. And you develop the habit of knowing and building confidence that every time you say something, you do it. The key is knowing what your values are.”

So when you are struggling with your job, or a relationship, or a New Year’s resolution, when you are hitting that wall so hard you feel like throwing in the towel, it’s time to reevaluate whether what you’re doing matches what’s truly important to you. Because if it doesn’t, all kinds of hell breaks loose.

For example, if you want to lose weight but health and fitness are not on your list of core values, there will be about a dozen other things that you will find more important to pursue. And let’s be honest, in today’s world, there are plenty of distractions to keep your health on the back burner.

So, you WILL start to sabotage yourself.

I bet you’ve even said that to your girlfriends once or twice, am I right? “I just self-sabotage.” Queue up the Judgement Detox: There is something wrong, but it’s not a flaw, my friend; it’s a natural reaction to a goal that doesn’t match your highest values.

If you’re setting a money goal but you don’t value earning, saving, and investing money, that’s not going to happen either.

Now I am not saying to have to suddenly praise health and wealth if it’s not important to you, but in order for your goal-getting to work, you at least have to align the goal with one of your core values.

So, maybe spending time with your children is high on your list. Well, a healthy mom is better equipped to do just that, and enjoy the quality time. So that is what gets your butt to the gym.

Maybe travel and experiencing new cultures is one of your core values. Focusing your budgeting and saving efforts on a worthwhile experience can help you get to your destination (pun intended!). If feeling secure is important to you, focus on building that nest egg for retirement.

Same goal, YOUR VALUES.

It’s important to know that our values change over time. What once might have been uber important to you a few years ago, may no longer matter to you now. That is 100% OK.

And there are no wrong values. So often, even when doing this exercise with my private clients, people choose the values they think they should want — and that is completely missing the point!

If you value money, or a big house, or rock solid abs — own that sh#t! You really have to get real with yourself, strip things down to the real you, and bring your true core values into the light. Get a little naked, if you will. 😉

It will change the way you make decisions, how you feel about those choices and ultimately, how you feel about your life. Because if you’re spending your time on things that don’t matter to you, letting things important to you sit by the wayside, how happy are you really gonna be?

There are lot of ways to determine your values. The simplest is to brainstorm a list of things you feel are important to you, or find a list like this one online (there are lots).

Then begin to narrow down the field.

For this example, let’s say creativity is on your list. Ask yourself, “What is more important than creativity or is creativity what I value most?” Keep going until you’ve chosen three to five values that speak to you the loudest and decide to focus on them for the year.  

You can absolutely pick values that you feel are missing from your life that you want to begin to incorporate. You do this by practicing values-based decision-making (i.e. live your values) and holding your decisions up against these new values like a measuring stick. Values-based decisions “are made not based on past experiences. They are based on the future we want to create.”

First, determine if this something you have to do (like paying rent or replying to your boss’s emails). If that answer is no, ask yourself these questions to help you make a decision that’s right for you:

Is this aligned with my core values?

If I take time away from what’s important to me to do this, how will I feel?

Does this motivate me or do I feel resistance — and why?

For deeper guidance, Dr. Demartini’s offers a Value Determination Process on his website that I think is fantastic. You can check the full process out here.

My Challenge for you this week is to get naked and determine your core values. Post them proudly in the comments or on my Facebook Page in the comments here, and let’s inspire one another to have a kickass 2019!

 

LOVE + fantastic vibes!