Feeling Behind In Life (And What To Do About It)

We’re almost halfway through the first month of 2022; how are you feeling? I often hear from my clients that they feel like everyone else is so much farther ahead than them, more put together, more “on it”. And so they put an enormous amount of pressure on themselves to catch up. But the secret to feeling behind in your career (and in life) is to actually SLOW DOWN.

This preoccupation with getting ahead is certainly true in any field, but it’s super prevalent in the acting industry. We’re constantly being asked, “What’s next for you,” before we’ve even finished our current job. And the unpredictable nature of auditions, self tapes, callbacks, last-minute sides, then being pinned only to be released (if you’re even informed) can fry your nerves, especially when you see friends and frenemies booking role and role. 

The truth is, though, that overcommitting yourself, people-pleasing, ignoring your self care, etc., all in the name of “hustling” is terrible for your physical and mental health… and inefficient! 

Viggo Mortensen once shared the best piece of advice he’d ever received from a horse master: He told me to go slow to go fast. I think that applies to everything in life. We live as though there aren’t enough hours in the day but if we do each thing calmly and carefully we will get it done quicker and with much less stress.

So this week, I’m sharing a few simple tips to help you slow down and begin making small incremental changes to improve your health and wellness. They really do add up!

You’ve probably heard of the Butterfly Effect. The principle is basically that even the smallest shifts in a new direction (like the flapping of a butterfly’s wings) can have a ripple effect that can bring about massive changes. You just may not see the results until much later. 

Acknowledge Your Success

I heard a powerful statement recently: we cannot build on success we don’t acknowledge. Sure, you may have had a few setbacks with your goals recently (who hasn’t with the past two years we’ve experienced?), but you still got a lot of $hit done too, my friend!

So the next time you start to feel like you’re behind, try this quick exercise: 

Think of 3 of your accomplishments. They can be big or small, recent or in the past. 

This way you’re shifting your mind from a negative space to a positive one, threefold. 

Be wary of your inner critic trying to diminish your wins with that dreaded word “but”. 

I was on fire at my callback… but I didn’t get the job. 

My film was accepted at a festival… but it’s just a small one.

My agent meeting was great… but I forgot to put my phone on silent and it rang. 

Focus on the facts. If you need more help purging your self-judgment, check out this Judgment Detox. 

Narrow In On One Habit

Wouldn’t it be great if that Staples EASY button really existed? We could just push that sucker and suddenly have only healthy habits and no temptations or distractions. 

Not only is that unrealistic, I’m not sure it would be ideal either. We grow through discomfort, and if we were perfect, it would probably be very boring.

So instead of searching for instant change, pick one healthy habit to incorporate into your daily life and stick with it for the whole month. By spending more time with a habit, you’ll be able to come up with more creative ways to make it fun.

For example, if you want to exercise three times a week, find new places to take a nice walk (solo or with friends) or try new activities. If you decide to up your water intake, explore reminder apps, get a new water bottle you love, and try more hydrating foods. 

Be a detective and investigate what your body responds to the best. You know your bod and mind better than anyone else. 

At the end of the month, you can choose another habit to dive into, but be sure to keep the first one going, in the ways that you’ve enjoyed the most. As the year progresses, even though you’re incorporating this care slowly, you’ll start to feel better, stronger and more accomplished. 

Create An Emotional Emergency Kit

Here’s where you can really put your creativity to use… Whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed by emotions and like you’re spiraling into the “Comparison Trap” with your peers, find a time to take a break. Schedule it into your calendar!

Then grab your favorite beverage and spend a little downtime in a cocoon of things and activities that boost your mood, lift your spirits and inspire you. 

This kit can include your favorite outfit, music that soothes you, that yoga class that always helps you release tension, art that gets your mind jumping, phone calls to your BFFs, whatever your jam is, put it in the plan!

Have things you can do in 5 minutes – for when you’re on-set or have a busy day – and longer activities for your days off. If you need more ideas, check out this curated list.

I know you’ll emerge as a rejuvenated badass butterfly, ready to spread your wings and make some big changes in 2022!

What do you do when you feel behind in life? I’d love to know in the comments below!

LOVE + taking it easy!