Hello hello, my blissful badasses!!
Cheers to another year around the sun! If you know me, you know I love birthdays. I’m a firm believer that it’s a special day to celebrate — a day to be filled with all the things I consider sweet and sacred — and a great time to take some inventory of what’s really happening in my life, both big and small.
Not to be all judgy about it, but to just observe it from afar.
It’s a perfect pause in the year that allows me to look at all my experiences as a whole piece of life, not just the day-to-day list of things to do and stress over.
It’s also a perfect time to write down all the things I’ve learned and all the things I’m grateful for. Silly, small things. Big things. And lots of medium ones too. I’m not just talking about the awesome things but the things I’ve struggled with too, the not-so-hot moments. It’s a humbling, interesting, invigorating and joyful way to start my next trip around the sun.
So, yesterday was that day! And now I get to share some of my biggest takeaways with you. My genuine hope is this list will help you live your most blissful badass life!
1. LOVE is literally EVERYTHING. It is why we are here — to learn how to give and receive love unconditionally. The more you put out into the world, the more you will get back in return. Literally giving love out on a daily basis. It’s about learning to see every situation with love instead of fear. Understanding that the things that happen in our lives are happening for us, not to us. So wrap yourself in love, a little more each day as you learn to love yourself unconditionally. Then wrap others up in it too.
2. FEAR is the biggest LIFE SUCK ever! Feel the fear and then do it anyway! Fear is something we all deal with, often on a daily basis. Whenever we are faced with doing something new, something outside our comfort zone, something that feels strange — and therefore, scary. Most of the time, the fear isn’t even real. It’s some made-up thing in our head. We look at the situation and assume the absolute worst possible outcome, then completely paralyze and stress ourselves out because of it — all from an imagined thing! I am 100% convinced that the more we push through our fears, the more confident, happier, successful we will be — and the more joyful life we will have.
3. CHANGE is ALWAYS GOOD because it means you are moving forward in life. When I take a good hard look back on the times I was most fearful of change — ending a relationship, moving, leaving a work situation, starting a new project — those changes were always for the best, and I always wished I had made them sooner! Forward movement is always the best route.
4. Reframe the term AGEING. As I’ve grown older, this has been a biggie for me. The word “ageing” is used to describe the process of deterioration and decline—a process that is not inevitable. As Dr. Mario Martinez says, “Growing older is inevitable, aging is optional.” And yes, I use the British spelling of the word. 🙂
5. Get rid of the sh#t that isn’t serving you. Make it a habit. Do it weekly. Do it monthly. That includes friends, lovers, food, hobbies, clothes in your closet, etc. (See #6.)
6. Do a people DETOX! Detox from those people that bring the negative storm clouds so you can fly high sister! Not everyone is a nice person. There are people out there who will try to take you down, criticize, and swarm you with toxic negative energy. This behavior very rarely has anything to do with you, and everything to do with how dissatisfied or frustrated they are in their own life. And definitely don’t take it personally. Just say Buh Bye!
7. Girls need sisterhood on a soulful spiritual level. Guys need manhood. Invest in great relationships and friendships. (See #5 & #6.)
8. Surround yourself with people who inspire and support you. People who have good energy, and make it a point to encourage and celebrate others. These friendships will be more rich, supportive and inspiring over time, allowing you to be your best self and put amazing work out in the world. (See the three above.) 🙂
9. Have FUN!! Don’t take everything so fucking seriously! Make fun of yourself, be weird, be quirky, let yourself be loose. Laugh a lot. Loud, big belly laughs. Life is meant to be good for us; life is meant to be joyful. Do things that bring you joy on a daily basis and never feel guilty about it. (See #8.)
10. Create a Joy Journal. What brings you the most joy in life? Write in a train of thought way, just write down anything and everything that you love, what makes you happy and joyful? It can be anything from a hike in the woods, to a glass of iced tea or white wine on a hot summer day, a warm bath after a long day, dinner with friends etc. The more specific the better! This is a great way to gauge how much joy you are allowing yourself to have in your everyday life – you’ll be amazed at how little joy we are giving ourselves! Lean into the things that make you feel joyful, and make a conscious effort to experience more of those things in your everyday life. I promise, your life will open up in ways you never imagined.
11. Meditate. It’s like giving yourself a mental vacation. Just a few minutes every day. This gives your body and nervous system a chance to finally relax and recharge, giving you the space to reassess how you’re doing, feeling and if you need to make any adjustments. Incorporate it into your daily life. It is scientifically proven that meditation can help you live a life that is more joyful and juicy!
12. Boost your beliefs. Your beliefs are far stronger than your genes. What are your beliefs about yourself, your body and about getting older? Do they include the belief that at a certain age good things stop and bad things begin? For example, do you believe that after 40 it’s all downhill or you can’t have great sex after age 50? Until you bring these beliefs to consciousness, they can adversely affect your biology. Like a stealth program, you aren’t even aware of them, and yet they play a huge role in your health.
13. Eat something GREEN every day.
14. LISTEN, and I mean really listen, to what your body is saying. Your body is never wrong. It will always tell you what you need if you just get quiet and connect. If your body is giving you signals like bad digestion, sleeplessness or brain fog, don’t rationalize or justify it. Ever. If something isn’t right with your physical health, your relationship(s) or your work — your body will always let you know. Don’t ever ignore it! Your body is so much wiser than you will ever be. Always.
15. Cultivate your non-negotiables, so that every day isn’t an effing free for all and that you don’t waste your decision power on ridiculous things. What daily or weekly actions or behaviors make the biggest difference in you how feel? Is it drinking enough water, eating vegetables multiple times a day, having an actual lunch, a workout, great sleep, etc?
16. Prioritize sleep. It’s no joke. It will change your life. For real.
17. Allow yourself to feel what you really feel — frustration, anger, sadness, stress, exhaustion, etc. We are so programmed from a young age to distract ourselves, keep busy, drink too much wine, eat our feelings, or avoid our feelings at all costs! And doing that will have a HUGE COST in the end. When you feel something uncomfortable, really FEEL it. Actually, lean into that discomfort. It’s crazy how quickly it will dissipate and/or transmute when you do.
18. Have a daily/ weekly time to connect to nature. Or the universe. Or whatever it is that helps guide you in the right direction, at the time you need it. Whatever it is that gives you the time and space to release the death grip you have on everything that happens in your daily life. And ask for guidance when you need it. It’s a sign of strength to know when you need help and straight up ask for it.
19. Drink more water than you do everything else. Way more than you think you need.
20. Move your body daily in ways that make you feel strong and energized — not exhausted and in pain.
21. Use natural, eco-friendly face/body care products and home products too.
22. Be curious. Try new things with a beginner’s mindset. People who are interested in growing and learning are always the coolest, most fascinating people.
23. Be completely and utterly and honestly and openly YOU. Your weird, quirky little self. Your funny self. Be real. People reflect it right back to you.
24. Stop trash-talking about yourself to yourself — and your age! And stop blaming your health problems on your age. Your body believes every word you say. Notice the language you use to talk about yourself and about age. And start sidestepping those negative patterns. I had a client who thought her life was over because she was about to turn 30. If you need a milestone birthday, let it be “21”. And remember, if you don’t tell your body your age, it won’t know. And no one else will either.
**24 1/2. And as a bonus, SHARE! Share your love, share your laughter, share your wisdom, and most importantly, share your TRUTH! Be completely, utterly and openly you. Be the real you.
Now that’s true love.
Have anything to add to this list yourself? Or thoughts on any of the ones I mentioned above? As always, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!
LOVE + Birthday Bliss!
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